24.9.13

I am

frustrated indeed. I have hands, i do have them. Yet they don't always work as well as they could/should. Although i am in not the slightest bit ungrateful, for the hands that i do have. I wish i had, ANOTHER set, like Goro, ya know. I have so many things that I desperately want to get done, and many of them are strictly to difficult for my hands. As well unfortunately, as to painful.. I need a helper, it's to bad i don't HAVE ANY FRIENDS. ha ha, fuck my life. well'p. for now,I write. and I paint, and I really need to get some to come and help me just long enough to at least get a bike running for transportation at the moment. Tools, ah tools, they would help to, but, money is a cheeky bastard, and it's not time for tools yet!! No no, not yet. But soon! A truck first, a shitty one, that's not shitty, but cheap! yeah cheap! I need to find a good old fashion deal.. onward with daily reconstruction.. To rebuild one's life, is to live each day in confusion, and self doubt.. Unless you are as strong as a trained spiritual guru. which i am not, although i am learning to strengthen myself day by day, and soon, hopefully, I will be made of the proper stuff to achieve my goals at long last. master of me